No Need for Rationality
by ylime620
Summary: "My rational mind knows that it's safe to go home. But I just can't. Not yet." "Well, you can stay as long as you like. No need for rationality." (Episode tag for 2x15)
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This is my first (but hopefully not my last) Madam Secretary story, so go easy on me.

This is a bit AU because it assumes that Matt stays overnight at Nadine's over the course of multiple episodes (S2, Eps 15 - 21).

For my own reference, I'm going to say the Nadine is 55 and Matt is 32. I kind of pulled those numbers out of thin air, so if anyone wants to disagree just leave a review or send a message.

" _My rational mind knows that it's safe to go home. But I just can't. Not yet."_

" _Well, you can stay as long as you like. No need for rationality."_

Matt awoke with a groan. He opened his eyes to unfamiliar surroundings and spent a few confused seconds trying to figure out which girl he must've followed home from the bar. _Oh yeah_ , he realized. _I'm on my boss's couch_.

He looked around again, marveling at how sophisticatedly the apartment was decorated. Every single piece screamed Nadine, but in an unexpected way. He was ashamed to admit that he _had_ thought she was a cat lady, despite his earlier protestations.

As he stood, he noticed a picture of Nadine, her arm around a young man close to his own age. He must be her nephew or family friend, he thought. She had never mentioned having any kids. Or any relationships for that matter. If he were being honest, the only relationship she had owned up to was her affair with Secretary Marsh and that was only after he had died. Matt had heard vague rumors about a few lunch dates with a guy from NASA, but judging by look of the guy, she was way out of his league.

He took a few more minutes wandering around the room, trying to convince himself that he wasn't snooping, even though that was exactly what he was doing. There were pictures of her with the secretary, a few world leaders, and he even found one of the team from the office, tucked away in a corner next to a decorative vase.

It was a strip of photos from one of those silly booths they had at a state dinner a few years ago. He remembered when they had taken them. The sound of her laughter popped into his memory and he suddenly realized how close they had all been as they tried to fit in the frame. He remembered catching a whiff of her perfume and startling at the sexiness of it. She had been sitting right in front of him and he found himself looking at the elegant lines of her neck and shoulders for a moment before the flash of the camera startled him out of his distraction. He smiled when he realized the camera had captured the dazed and distracted look in his eyes.

Matt shook his head as if to brush off the memory and headed into the kitchen. Everything in her apartment was so nice, he almost wished he could stay over every night.

Matt had stayed over at his fair share of women's apartments and considered it a tradition, or more accurately, a habit, to make breakfast in the mornings. Although this morning was a bit different than those others, he still wanted to show his appreciation.

Nadine's kitchen was somehow both minimalist and confusing. It took him a frustratingly long time just to find a frying pan.

He was standing in front of the stove when she walked into the kitchen. He turned around and was a bit disappointed to see that she was dressed and ready to face the day. For a split second, he wondered what she might look like in the early mornings, imaging her dark hair draped loosely around her shoulders.

"Good morning." She startled him out of his fantasy.

"Good morning," he replied. He nodded toward the frying pan.

"Eggs in the hole," he explained. "The one and only dish in my culinary repertoire."

"You shouldn't have," Nadine replied.

"It's a small token of my appreciation. I know it was an imposition."

"It really wasn't," she insisted. "I should be thanking you. It's hard to be alone in the wake of a tragedy. Honestly, I was happy for the company."

"Me too," he said with a smile. "So, how runny would you like your eggs?"

"It really doesn't matter. The pan's on fire," she deadpanned.

"What? Oh!" he exclaimed as he turned around and saw the flames jumping from the pan.

Their laughter filled the kitchen for a few minutes.

"I tried," he shrugged.

Nadine smiled. "We'll be fine. I have a lot of cereal stashed away somewhere."

"What makes you think I'm a cereal person?"

"The same reason you thought I was a cat person," she teased.

"Touché," he responded.

She pulled out a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. "Shall we?" she asked as she grabbed two bowls and some milk. Matt smiled and took a seat next to her at the kitchen counter.

They sat there for a while, quietly chatting about an assortment of subjects. Their conversation turned towards work and they both looked at the clock in surprise. They rushed to put things away and get out the door.

After nearly missing their train, they managed to get in the building with only a few minutes to spare. They crowded into the elevator, where they both finally got a chance to breathe.

Once again, Matt found himself close beside Nadine. He took a glance at her and admired her professional ensemble. He also realized that she was wearing a tastefully muted version of the scent she had worn to the gala.

Nadine looked up at him with a concerned smile. "You okay for tonight?"

"You know what? I think I am - that is, until the next national existential crisis," he joked.

* * *

Matt took a chance and walked into Nadine's office. She looked up in surprise. He spoke before she had a chance to react.

"I know I said I would be okay for tonight, but I've changed my mind. Is your couch still available?"

"Of course," Nadine smiled.

He had framed the request as casually as he could, but he certainly wasn't feeling casual. In fact, he felt nervous. He had accepted last night's offer as the friendly invitation it was. But whatever expectations he had for the evening were cast aside the moment she offered him a drink. And when she answered the call and started speaking French, well, let's just say he was more than surprised. In fact, he marveled at the fluency and beauty of her voice. He had never really taken much notice of her voice before that moment. Of course, she had sung that ridiculous parody of "For The Longest Time" he cobbled together for the gala last year, but he barely remembered that.

He had spent most of this morning and afternoon listening to her voice without actually understanding what she was asking. She caught him staring a few times and startled him when she directly addressed him.

"Thanks so much. Today has been busy, but I still feel uncertain about going home."

"I understand. It'll be nice to have company two nights in a row."

"Ok good. I guess I'll see you tonight then."

Matt paused in the doorway, reluctant to leave, but not sure what else to say. Nadine's focus returned to her computer, but Matt's focus stayed on Nadine. He tried to think of something clever, but he was at an uncharacteristic loss for words.

He headed back to his own office, relieved that she had agreed and confused as to why that made him excited. He'd never tell anyone, especially not Nadine, but he really wasn't at all uncomfortable with going home tonight.

Daisy poked her head into their office.

"Hey, it's time for the meeting."

Matt glanced at the clock in surprise. Had he really just spent a half hour staring at nothing, thinking borderline unprofessional thoughts about his boss? _I guess I have_ , he admitted.

"On my way," he replied.

"You seem out of it today," Daisy observed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not today," he refused gently.

"Ok," she said, looking a bit concerned.

"Relax, Daisy. It's no big deal. I've just been a little thrown off by the whole radioactive explosion in my neighborhood."

"Understandable," she replied. "Wait, where did you say that you stayed last night?"

"Don't we have a meeting to go to?" Matt asked, avoiding the question and changing the subject.

"Hmmm, it seems like there's something you're not telling me."

"Maybe, but we still have to go," he smirked.

They arrived in the conference room together. Matt thought he saw a reaction in Nadine's face when she saw Daisy next to him, but he shook away such an absurd idea.

Daisy, however, did notice a look - not from Nadine, but from Matt. He was oddly quiet for a few minutes and she got a funny feeling it had something to do with Nadine. _That's ridiculous,_ she thought. _I've never even seen them have a private conversation._ She pushed the thought away to focus on the meeting, but she still had a sneaking suspicion in the back of her mind.

In an unexpected moment of risk, Matt took the seat next to Nadine. She smiled at him as he sat down.

"You're lucky this isn't a state dinner, or the host would've kicked you out," she teased.

Matt realized with amusement that Nadine was being cheerful and teasing in front of the whole staff.

The meeting continued as all State Department meetings do, ending with the Secretary abruptly leaving, inspired by a solution to save the world. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but it seemed to Matt like it happened a lot.

Secretary McCord was always on the ball and Nadine was right there behind her. Matt watched her leave the room, noticing her incredibly confident and assured stride.

 _That's what thirty years of experience of public service keeping up with cabinet members and diplomats gives you_ , he thought.

* * *

Matt spent the next few hours in his office, drafting the Secretary's speech for the next day's press conference about the bombing. He found his thoughts straying and his words following as lingered too long on words of reassurance that the city and specifically his own neighborhood was safe. He didn't notice until he took the draft to Nadine. Her face changed when she got to the end.

"What?" he asked.

"You're a little too insistent here at the end. I don't think the press needs reassurance that your street in particular is safe."

"Oh," he realized. "I forgot to remove that from the draft. Sometimes when things look pretty bleak, I slip a few personal words of support in there. It calms me down to imagine the Secretary saying those things to me."

"I never thought of it that way," Nadine mused. "Regardless, those paragraphs don't belong in the speech."

"Of course."

Matt turned to walk out of her office.

"Matt," she called after him. "I'll meet you at the elevator whenever you're done. I wouldn't want you getting lost on the way to my place."

He smiled at her. "I'll be there with bells on."

"Her place?"

Matt nearly crashed into Daisy in the hall. She looked at him with raised eyebrows and a suspicious twinkle in her eye.

"You stayed with the boss last night, didn't you?" she said, less of a question than an observation.

"I did," Matt answered tersely.

"Well, that explains all those looks during the meeting."

"What looks?"

"C'mon, Matt. You were sitting right next to her and didn't take her eyes off her for a solid hour. I'm surprised she didn't call you out on it."

Matt just stood there, once again at a loss for words. "I wasn't staring," he insisted. _I was definitely staring_ , he admitted to himself.

"You were."

 _Daisy just isn't going to let this go, is she?_

"What's it like sleeping with the boss?" she smirked.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh you thought I meant... Get your mind out of the gutter, Matt. I was just wondering what her place is like."

"Sure you did," Matt answered skeptically. "Well, her place is really nice and her couch is a million times better than my bed. I'm just grateful she let me stay over. The whole bomb thing had me pretty on edge."

"And tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, the 'bomb thing' is pretty much taken care of."

"And her couch is still a million times better than my bed, so I'm just taking advantage of that opportunity."

"Are you sure that's the only thing you're taking advantage of?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Careful, Daisy. You're treading dangerously close to conspiracy theory levels here."

Daisy smiled. "Okay, but don't think I won't follow up on this conversation later."

"Goodbye, Daisy," Matt said, walking away.

"Have fun!" She said teasingly.

Matt made his way to the elevator where Nadine was waiting.

"I didn't notice you leave, sorry."

"It's ok. You looked to be having quite an animated conversation with Daisy, so I figured I'd just sneak away," Nadine laughed.

"It was animated alright," Matt sighed. "Too much so." He yawned.

"Perfect timing."

"Huh?"

"The elevator. It's here."

"Oh, right."

Matt was still distracted by what Daisy had insinuated. As he and Nadine rode down the seven floors together, he wondered how much truth there was to Daisy's comments. He'd been preoccupied by thoughts of Nadine all day and, even now, found himself listening to the sound of her voice without hearing her actual words.

The weather was warm, and because neither of them was in a rush, they decided to take the 15 minute walk back to Nadine's apartment. They traveled through a part of the city Matt had never explored before, the epitome of "above his pay grade."

"How about this weather, am I right?"

Nadine just stared at him in confusion.

Matt looked away, feeling awkward as hell.

"Sorry, I just couldn't think of anything else to say."

"You don't have to say anything, you know?"

 _Point taken_ , he thought as they settled back into silence.

They walked side by side through the quiet streets. Even with her diminutive frame, Nadine matched his pace easily.

"I like walking home on nights like these. There's so much hustle and bustle in the office that it's nice to just step out into the evening and calm down a little bit."

"I've never been able to walk home after work. It's nice. My apartment isn't exactly prime real estate."

"So I've heard," she laughed.

"Especially after yesterday. God, that was so weird. I'm sorry if - "

"Matt, there's no need to apologize. I understand, really. It can be disconcerting to be thrown into a situation like that. I know how you feel."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

They reached her building a few blocks later.

"Let's take the stairs," he suggested.

"Ok." She only lived three flights up.

Matt instantly regretted that choice. The stairs were too small for them to climb side by side, so he ended up walking behind her. For the millionth time that day, he found himself staring at her back, admiring her graceful figure.

They walked into her apartment. Matt looked around and noticed that the blankets and pillows he had used last night were still on the couch, practically begging him to sleep there again.

"Do you like old movies?" Nadine asked.

"I've seen a few. I'm more of a retro television kind of guy," he replied.

"I have a feeling 'retro television' for you is just 'television' for me," she laughed. "What's your favorite? Maybe we can find a few episodes to watch. I've got every kind of streaming service you could ask for."

"Really? You seem more like a book person than a TV person."

"There you go again, assuming what kind of person I am," she teased.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have. If there's anything I'm learning tonight, it's to expect the unexpected."

"So...what have you got?"

"How about _M*A*S*H_? I basically grew up on those reruns."

"And I basically grew up on those first-runs," she admitted. " _M*A*S*H_ it is, then."

She turned on the TV and found it in an instant. "Should we start at the beginning or just close our eyes and pick a random episode?"

"I vote random," Matt replied.

They stopped on a fifth season episode and spent the next hour and half binging through a few more.

At one point, Nadine got up and made popcorn. Matt noticed she took a seat much closer to him when she came back. He gave her a small smile.

"What?" she asked. "We can share the popcorn easier this way."

"Whatever you say. I'm not allowed to assume anything anymore, remember?" he smirked.

Nadine turned her focus back to the television. "Oh, this is a sad one," she said, recognizing the episode.

"I like the sad ones. There's something so impressive about the way the show blends the comedy and drama together so subtly, at least in the early seasons."

"Definitely," she agreed.

The popcorn was gone by the middle of the episode and the bowl set on the table in front of them. Nadine was practically on Matt's side of the couch by that point. He looked down at her when he heard her yawn quietly. He took a chance and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her even closer.

"Is this ok?" he asked softly.

"Why wouldn't it be?" she replied.

"I don't know."

Nadine stayed there by his side a few more minutes until the episode ended. She yawned again and sat up. She started to grab the bowl off the table, but Matt took it from her hands.

"I'll take care of it," he said. "You look exhausted."

"Thanks." She smiled and headed into her bedroom.

Matt walked into the kitchen, his mind wandering as he thought about the last few hours. He had never enjoyed _M*A*S*H_ so much, not even when he used to skip his homework and watch it late at night.


	2. Chapter 2

Nadine untied her tight chignon and stood before the full length mirror in her bathroom.

 _His arms wrapped around her as he kissed her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access to her favorite spot. He took the hint and brushed his lips gently over her skin._

 _"What are you staring at?"_

 _"I don't know. Just trying to imagine what I'll look like in the future."_

 _"You'll be as stunning as ever, just with a little more gray."_

 _"Maybe," she mused, a little doubtful despite his reassurance_.

Nadine blinked and stared at the older woman reflected back at her, no imagination necessary. There were more wrinkles around her eyes, more gray in her hair, and a disappointing lack of someone else's arms around her.

She looked around her master suite, reminded once again of how unnecessarily large it was for one person. She had been living there for over 15 years and still had not filled the room. She knew it wasn't just her minimalist style that kept the room empty. It was as if she were saving the space for someone else. The only thing that seemed to fit the room was her king-sized bed, a luxury she indulged in a few years ago, hoping it would make the room less empty. Instead it just made the room even bigger, swallowing her tiny frame every time she got in.

Nadine gave another sigh as she climbed into a bed that felt unnervingly large tonight, much larger than the couch. She enjoyed that couch from the moment she bought it, but tonight it felt extra comfortable. She hated to sound like a little girl, but she knew it had more to do with the arm around her shoulder than the extra pillow by her side.

She drifted off into a restless sleep, waking up in the middle of a few good dreams that left her wanting to know the rest. She had trouble getting back to sleep after one particularly vivid one, so she lay there for a while, halfway between awake and asleep. She checked her clock and was surprised to see it was already 5:30 am. _I'm getting up in less than an hour,_ she thought. _I_ _might as well get a head start._ She started to head to the bathroom to get changed, but turned around and grabbed her robe instead. She brushed her hair and washed her face, reflecting that even though it was early, it was nice not to rush.

Nadine made her way into the kitchen and stopped short when she remembered Matt was still on her couch. She was about to turn around when she realized she had two options. One, she could turn around now, go back and change her clothes, and let him sleep for a few more minutes. Or two, she could stay her course, walk into the kitchen, and take the chance he would wake up and see her in such a casual state. He'd probably be annoyed too, she thought. She knew from experience how precious sleep was to young people like him. But maybe he wouldn't be annoyed. Maybe he wouldn't even wake up. Maybe she could sneak in and out of the kitchen unnoticed.

 _Would it be so bad if you did wake him, though?_ She asked herself. There was a part of her, the same part of her that felt so lonely last night, that didn't want to sneak around in her own kitchen, that wanted company in the early morning, regardless of how unprofessional the situation might be. It had been a long time since a man had seen her looking the way she did at this moment. With her hair touching her shoulders, her face freshly washed, and her robe loosely tied around her waist, Nadine wasn't sure if she looked years younger or years older. She expected Matt wouldn't care either way.

Her decision was made for her as Matt rose from the couch with a sleepy look in his eyes.

"Good morning," he said, yawning. Then the look on his face changed to something Nadine couldn't quite figure out as his eyes looked her up and down. _A combination of surprise and appreciation, perhaps?_

She smiled in reply. "Good morning. Sorry if I woke you. It's actually quite early, but I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to get ready now."

"No need for an apology," he answered. "It'll do me good to get up early for once. And hey, maybe we won't have to run to catch the Metro this morning,"

Nadine laughed softly. "Maybe."

She stepped into the kitchen as Matt made his way to the bathroom. Nadine felt the small smile from last night spread across her face again as she looked forward to spending breakfast with him for the second morning in a row.

Matt walked into the kitchen and stood a little bit closer to her than he had yesterday. _At least last night's closeness hadn't been a one-off situation_ , she thought.

"Should I try again?" He asked, reaching around her to grab the bread off the counter.

"By all means," she agreed. "But I'm getting out the cereal just in case."

"Yes, ma'am," Matt answered good-naturedly.

As he stepped over to the stove, Nadine brought milk and juice over to her small breakfast table. She decided they could use their few extra minutes to actually enjoy breakfast, rather than sitting awkwardly on the stools at her counter.

Matt came over with the eggs.

"This is turning into a much more successful morning," he joked as he laid the plate on the table.

"Definitely," she smiled. "Looks like we don't need this cereal after all," Nadine said as she walked to the pantry.

When she came back, Matt was sitting at the table, his plate untouched.

"Oh, there was no need for you to wait for me."

"Of course there was," he insisted. "You're my host, and besides, I wanted to you to try the first bite in case it was terrible."

"Ah, so you're just trying to make me suffer, is that it?"

"Yep," he teased.

Pretending to be nervous, she took a small, slow bite. She wanted to tease him some more, but it was so delicious, she couldn't hide the look of pleasure on her face.

Matt smirked at the look on her face. "It seems I did a good job - despite my worst efforts," he joked.

"At least you didn't almost burn my house down this morning," she replied.

"I did not," he admitted. "And I'm very proud of that. I'm so proud in fact, that I might just have to brag about it this afternoon at the office."

"Don't you dare," she insisted, bringing the conversation to a close with a small smile.

They ate the rest of their breakfast in relative silence, knowing they needed to speed things up a bit if they wanted to get to work on time. Nadine reflected on how comfortable she was as they ate. So comfortable, she realized, she had forgotten that she was wearing very little under her robe. She was confused when she noticed Matt subtly glance down and turn a bit red until she, too, looked down and saw the lace of her camisole peeking out of her robe. Nadine just smiled and figured it was as good a moment as any to excuse herself and head back to her room.

Matt was standing by the door when she exited her room. He still had a bit of a dazed look on his face, and she wasn't sure why or how her little slip up had such an effect on him.

"Ready to go?" She asked, knowing full well that he definitely was.

"Yep," he answered, a bit too enthusiastically.

Once seated on the Metro, Matt turned to Nadine.

"Thanks for letting me stay over again."

"Any time."

"I hadn't watched _M*A*S*H_ in such a long time and I enjoyed it a lot."

"It's a good show."

"I was talking more about the company..." He smiled softly at her. "... and the couch," he added. "It's surprisingly comfortable to sleep on, but even more comfortable to sit with someone else."

"It is," she agreed.

Their train came to a stop before their slightly awkward attempt at innuendo could go on any longer. They arrived at the office together for the second day in a row. Nadine thought nothing of it until she saw Daisy catch up to Matt in the hallway and pull him aside. She could tell by the mischievous look on Daisy's face and the awkward look on Matt's that she must be teasing him. She hadn't admitted to Matt, but she had overheard their conversation from the previous evening. Daisy was a very detail oriented person and she had quickly caught on to the situation.

 _What situation?_

Nadine tried to tell herself there was nothing going on, but she had a niggling feeling that Daisy would get Matt to keep his joking promise that he'd tell the office about their breakfast that morning.

The workday passed by slower than expected. Even the parade of morning meetings, followed by afternoon meetings, followed by end-of-the-day meetings wasn't enough to keep her mind from wandering back to that morning's breakfast. She wished it could have lasted longer. Matt was a good conversationalist and she had definitely enjoyed talking to him these past few days about things other than work.

 _It might be worth it to try to start enjoying the company of people around the office outside of work,_ she thought. Most of her interactions with anyone these days were professional in nature because so many of her other friends spent their time traveling. It was worrying to realize that she knew more people who were close to retirement than not.

 _Stop it_ , she told herself. _Thinking about that won't help anyone. It's time to get back to work and stop trying to figure out the meaning life - or death._

Matt poked his head into her office.

"Ready for the day's final meeting?"

"Definitely," she replied. "At least I don't have to lead this one."

Nadine gathered her stuff and walked with Matt down the hall. She was a bit surprised but also happy when he took the seat beside her again. She smirked when she saw Daisy's look and decided to acknowledge it this time. Daisy started to turn away, but changed her mind and held Nadine's gaze.

 _I know what you did last night_ , her eyes seemed to say.

Oh, how Nadine hoped that weren't true. She understood and even appreciated how close Matt and Daisy were, but she also found herself experiencing a little bit of jealousy. She looked beside her at Matt and noticed he was keeping an eye on Daisy too.

"Okay, has anyone heard what I've said?" Jay, who was leading the meeting, looked more than a little frustrated as he watched his supposedly professional colleagues make eyes at each other. "I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling a weird energy in this room and it seems to be coming from you three."

Nine heads turned Nadine's way as Jay called out their inattention. She stumbled to make something up. _I think they're talking about the orphans in Uganda_?

She gave it a shot. "Oh, the Secretary definitely needs to put out a statement. Matt?" She turned.

"We decided that minutes ago, Nadine," he replied softly with a little smile.

"Right. Of Course. I just wanted to re-emphasize the importance, obviously." She hoped her face wasn't as red as she felt.

"Okay, let's wrap up," Jay said after a few more minutes. Nadine sighed with relief as she left.

"Nadine, do you have a minute?" she heard the Secretary ask as she passed her office.

Nadine entered.

"Are you okay? You've been extra distracted these past few days."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I've been having trouble concentrating on world affairs when things have been so crazy here at home."

"I know how you feel, but this thing that happened at home affected women from around the world. We owe it to them to keep our focus."

"Yes, ma'am." Nadine turned to go.

"One more thing."

Nadine paused.

"Have you talked to Matt? I know you usually review his drafts, but one made it to my desk that has me a bit concerned."

Nadine realized she must have printed out his last speech before she saved her changes.

"Yes, ma'am. I know which one you mean. I did ask him to remove that passage, but those revisions must not have been sent to you."

"Well, I was able to fix it, but your comments reminded me a little bit of his. Maybe talking to him would help."

"Maybe," Nadine smiled. _I doubt late night discussions and intimate conversations on the Metro are exactly what she has in mind, but they're working for us._

"I'll talk to him about it," she promised. "Is there anything else?"

"That's all for now."

Nadine walked back to her office. She startled a bit when she saw Daisy sitting on her couch, looking more than a little smug. Nadine just walked over to her computer and did her best to ignore her.

"Aren't you going to ask why I'm here?" Daisy asked after a few minutes.

"I know why you're here. I don't feel like talking about it now."

But she did feel like talking about it. In fact, she was almost bursting with the desire to talk about it. And she knew Daisy was probably the only person with whom she really could talk about it.

"I think now is the perfect time to talk about it," Daisy replied with a smirk.

"Your performances in that meeting were really something else," she teased. "When you weren't looking at him, he was looking at you. Imagine an hour of you two avoiding each other's gazes. It was like watching the crowd at a tennis match, except much more entertaining."

Daisy laughed at the surprised look on Nadine's face. "I'm pretty sure the only person who didn't notice was the Secretary and that's only because she wasn't even in the meeting."

Nadine sighed in defeat. "Alright, what do you want to know?"

Daisy gave what could only be described as a victorious smile.

"Two nights in a row, huh?"

"Only because he was too uncomfortable to go back to his own place."

"Um hm," Daisy said skeptically. "I have it on good authority that his place was perfectly fine last night."

 _What had Matt told her?_ Nadine wondered nervously.

"Oh don't worry. He didn't tell me anything," Daisy reassured her, accurately interpreting the look on Nadine's face. "I heard it from the actual authorities," she smiled.

Nadine relaxed a bit.

"Nothing happened."

"I never said anything did," Daisy responded. "I'm just saying that you two have been paying a lot more attention to each other lately. To be honest, I think he's a little smitten. What have you done?"

"Just a few meals and a little TV. It's nothing really."

"Okay. Well, you'll be glad to know Matt has been pretty tight-lipped about it too."

 _That's a relief_ , Nadine thought. _The last thing I need is Matt spilling his secrets to his ex-girlfriend. Not that there are any to spill,_ she reminded herself.

"Look, Daisy. As lovely and not awkward as this conversation is, I do have a lot to wrap up before this day ends."

Daisy nodded and stood up to go.

"Have a good night," she said with a smirk.

"Goodbye, Daisy."

Nadine turned her attention back to her computer, but was soon interrupted by a text. It was from Matt.

 **Waiting for you downstairs. Thought you might like some company on your walk home**

Nadine looked at it warily, confused as to why he hadn't stopped by in person. She hadn't planned on walking home tonight. She just wanted to get home quickly and relax without the pressure of having to entertain a houseguest. Although she didn't really consider Matt a houseguest. He was relatively low-key and had pulled his weight even in the few times he had been there.

She turned back to his message. Even as she rolled her eyes at the thought, she knew that like some others of her generation, she wasn't great at reading the subtext of messages. This time though, she could tell that he'd be disappointed if she declined.

 **Thanks for waiting. Be down soon**

She hoped that was the appropriate response. _Maybe I should ask Daisy_ , she thought ruefully.

His short reply came a moment later.

 **Ok**

Nadine put away her folders and packed up her bag. She turned off the lights and walked down the unusually quiet hallway. As she waited for the elevator, she argued with herself over how to tell Matt she wasn't in the mood for walking. The easiest thing would be to just apologize and they would go their separate ways. She knew his apartment was on the other side of the city, so they couldn't ride the Metro together and a cab would be ridiculously expensive for whoever got home last. If they did walk together, it would only be across a few blocks. She felt funny about making him wait for such a short distance.

Daisy's comments ran through her mind. _He's smitten? What a cute, old-fashioned phrase to choose. It fits though._ She had seen something different in his eyes the past few days. And that look he had given her at breakfast! She doubted she'd forget that anytime soon.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Matt was standing to the side with his eyes on his phone. Nadine took a moment to watch him before she caught his attention. He was disheveled from such a busy day. His tie was loosened and a curl of hair had fallen onto his forehead.

 _He was standing just a few feet away at the baggage claim. It had been too long since she had seen him. He turned and she felt a wave of relief rush through her at the sight of his bright smile. She tried to stop herself from the cliche of running into someone's arms at the airport, but she broke out into a little jog anyways. His arms wrapped around her and she breathed in_ _that familiar scent of him that she had missed so much._

Nadine shook her head and the present day came back into focus. Matt looked up and gave her a smile and small wave. This time self-control was easier and she walked towards him.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Go where?"

"I thought I'd walk you home. The weather is even nicer than last night's."

"Matt, your place is almost an hour walk in the opposite direction. Why do you want to go so far out of your way?"

"Last night's walk was nice and I thought we could do it again. We can take it slow." His smiled had faded a bit.

"Matt, walking home isn't as relaxing for me as it seems to be for you. I was going to take a cab home and call it an early night."

"Oh," he said disappointedly.

"I appreciate the gesture, but I really don't see a way to make this practical for either of us."

She thought he might be angling for a second invitation, and as much as she would like to offer, she knew it wouldn't be appropriate.

He sighed. "Of course. It wouldn't be practical."

The look on his face was almost puppy-like and Nadine finally gave up.

"Are you asking if you can stay the night again? Because you could use words, instead of making those pitiful eyes at me."

Matt smiled nervously. "Can I stay over?" He asked awkwardly.

She stumbled over what should have been an easy "no." She was tired and hungry with a million things to clean; he was a coworker with a perfectly stable apartment.

"Yes."

The answer escaped her lips before she even realized what she had said.

Matt looked up in surprise.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

They walked to the door in a silence that was at once unusual and natural.

"I still want to get a cab," she said. "It's been a long day."

Matt hailed a cab easily. "It must be nice to be so tall. I usually have to walk into the street for cabs to see me," she joked.

Nadine slid into the cab first and decided to stay in the middle seat. They had been sitting beside each other all day; there was no need to change that now. She couldn't help but yawn as Matt moved over beside her.

"You weren't kidding about being tired, were you?"

"I was not," she confirmed.

The ride back to her place was thankfully short and they got out of the cab and into the elevator together. Nadine pressed the wrong floor number but didn't even notice until Matt reached around her to correct her mistake. As his hand fell, it gently brushed her right arm. Nadine felt a bit of a shiver pass through her. She was immediately uncomfortable and surprised at the effect such a small action had on her. His hand moved from her arm, but a moment later she felt it on the small of her back. She looked up at Matt, trying to read the expression on his face. Hidden behind a look of apprehension was one of appreciation.

 _Yep, he's definitely smitten_ , she thought.

Nadine gave him a similar look in return and stepped closer to him, encouraging his touch. His face relaxed as she responded.

The elevator stopped at her floor sooner than either of them expected or wanted. They walked wordlessly to her door, where Nadine fumbled a bit with her keys. She was rarely this clumsy, but the way his eyes never left hers was a sufficient distraction.

"This is it," she said awkwardly as though he had never been there before. He just walked in and set his things by the still made-up couch.

"How can I help?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you had cleaning to do. It'll go faster if we work together."

"Oh, by cleaning I mostly meant putting away the sheets and pillows on the couch, but since you're still here, I guess we should leave them."

"I guess so," he smiled. "Thanks for letting me stay over again."

"You invited yourself, remember?"

Matt just smiled and changed the subject.

"Did you eat at work?" He asked.

"No, I forgot," she said with a little laugh. "Do you want to get take-out or delivery? There's a good Indian place nearby."

"Sure."

Nadine called the restaurant and a half hour later they were sitting down to eat at her kitchen table. The conversation turned toward their families. Nadine was surprised to learn Matt was half Pakistani. His voice filled with love as he talked about his parents and the support they had given him throughout the years.

"What about you?" He asked.

Nadine argued with herself about what to share and what to keep to herself. She knew admitting that she had a son Matt's own age might change every interaction they would have in the future. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but she also didn't want to hide anything from him.

"In my twenties, I travelled a lot before I settled into politics. I was pretty distant from my family for a few years - not because of any problems, but just because my work as a dancer kept me so busy." She saw Matt's eye widen at the revelation of her previous foray into the arts. She took a deep breath and continued: "In my mid-twenties, I took a necessary, but what I hoped would be short, break from my work on the stage - a nine month break."

Matt's eyebrows raised even higher as he realized what she was not quite ready to put into words.

"So your mid-twenties. That was…?"

She could see him trying to figure out the math.

"...almost thirty years ago," she confirmed. "He works overseas as a doctor now. I talk to him a few times a year."

"Then he's my age."

"Yes," she paused. "I hope this doesn't change things. I like the closeness that's starting to develop between us, but I understand if this makes you uncomfortable."

"It's fine. I'm glad you told me. I guess I've been stuck thinking of you as a cat lady these past six years. It's been fun learning how much more there is to you." He smiled softly and stood up from the table. Nadine thought for a split second that he might be getting up to leave, but he just walked over to her side of the table and took away her plate. He brought everything over to the sink and started to do the dishes.

"I can get them," she protested half-heartedly.

"I invited myself over, remember? The least I can do is the dishes."

"Okay."

Nadine gave in rather quickly. She needed time to think and certainly wasn't going to turn down a chance to do so. She walked into her bedroom and decided to change into something more comfortable. Something more like what she had been wearing that morning. The night before she had kept her makeup on and her hair up until she went to bed, but tonight she decided to relax a bit more. Matt had already seen her casually dressed this morning so it shouldn't make any difference now.

Nadine grabbed a pair of loose pajama pants and an oversized sweater that she put over her camisole. She brushed out her hair and washed her face. She laughed at her reflection in the mirror. Dressing down for a man the same age as her son was definitely a new experience. She splashed on some perfume just in case. _In case of what?_ she asked herself.

She heard the sound of the dishwasher starting and figured that was her cue.

Matt took one look at her as she walked into the living room and started laughing. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to seduce me in an outfit like that."

"I just wanted to get more comfortable that I was last night," she replied defensively.

Matt's dark eyes softened and he took a step closer. He hadn't taken his tie all the way off and the top button of his shirt was not yet undone. Nadine craned her neck to look at him. Without her heels, she was almost a foot shorter than he was. She had always been a bit uncertain when standing next to taller men, especially those in politics, but she was comfortable standing close to Matt right now.

His hand reached out and touched a curl of her hair.

"I've wanted to do that since breakfast," he whispered.

Nadine reached up and touched his tie as though she were going to adjust it tighter. But her hands seemed to have a different idea and she gently untied it, pulled it from around his neck, and let it fall to the floor. When she looked up again, Matt had unbuttoned the top of his shirt.

"It's kind of hot in here," was his feeble excuse.

"It is," she agreed. It wasn't hot at all.

His hand went back to her hair, but this time his fingers travelled down her neck and came to rest at the neckline of her sweater. He gently pushed her sweater aside and she gasped when his cool fingertips trailed across her collarbone.

He took a step closer. He was so close Nadine couldn't see his face anymore. His scent overpowered her and made her a little dizzy. At least, she wanted to blame it on his cologne. He really wasn't wearing much.

"You smell wonderful," Matt said as he leaned down and pressed his lips to her hair.

 _In case of this_ , she realized.

"Thanks," she said breathlessly. "So do you."

His hands grasped hers and he pulled her against him, eliciting a sound from her that was a cross between a gasp and a squeak. She tried to play it off as a cough, but that just caused him to pull away.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah," she whispered. "Just a little surprised - in a good way," she clarified.

"Okay." He smiled as she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How's this?" She asked.

"Very nice," he replied.

She gave a small sound of approval when his arms wrapped around her waist. He leaned down and trailed kisses from her cheek to her jawbone. She almost moaned when she realized his final destination. She tilted her head to give him better access to her favorite spot. His lips brushed gently across her skin. She gasped at the sensation. It had been a long time since she had been so close to a man. Matt was certainly not the kind of man she expected to break that drought, but here they were in her living room and she had no intention of changing her mind.

Matt pulled away for a moment to look into her eyes. His look was so intense that Nadine pressed her lips to his before he could change _his_ mind. His mouth responded eagerly to hers. Nadine didn't think it was possible to get any closer, but Matt proved her wrong as his hands spread across her back and pulled her tighter.

Nadine broke away from his lips for a second. She pulled her arms from around his neck and brought her hands back to the buttons on his shirt. She made quick work of his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders before she could second guess herself. Matt smirked and helped her to pull it off completely.

"You ready to do this?" he asked as his hands went to the buttons on her sweater.

"I think I am," she replied.

"It's not a very practical idea. Maybe it's not even rational," he cautioned.

"Like I said before," she smiled. "There's no need for rationality."

Matt just laughed.


End file.
